You Lost Me

I was listening to Christina Aguillera's "You Lost Me" and it brought back memories. I feel like I time-travelled. Let me share with you guys a very intimate part of my life.


Senti mode muna ako.

..........................................

Nakilala ko sya thru internet- sa isang heterosexual yahoo group ng mga singles.

May isang topic na pinagdi-diskusyunan ang mga members and I couldn’t help myself giving my opinion on the subject. Hindi ko alam na nagustuhan nya pala ang sinabi ko. He commended my response. And then he started encouraging me na to give my views sa ilang topic pa na napag-uusapan sa group.

Until one day he asked me if he could add me sa Friendster.

I said yes.

That was the first time I saw Robin’s picture.

Napa-hinga ako ng malalim. With a face and a body like that, how can he be single?

Eventually he asked for my number and I willingly gave it to him.

Mula sa “Hi!” and “Hello!”, nagsimula na rin syang manga-musta.

Nadagdagan ng mga “good mornings” and “good nights” until we reach the random “ingat ka.”, “sleep tight” stage.

Oo, kinikilig ako sa text nya. I was actually hoping na ang bawat text na natatanggap ko is from him.

I admit na nagugustuhan ko na sya. Sino ba naman ang hindi? I was assuming for more but I know that it is impossible. He is very good looking, younger and… straight.

Nag mental note talaga ako sa sarili ko non, para lang ibalik ko sa lupa ang nagle-levitate kong diwa.

“Friendly lang sya. Hindi sya papatol sa ‘yo, gumising ka.” Sabi ko sa sarili ko.

I decided not to initiate anything. Laging sya ang una. Until one time, he asked me if we could meet. He said may problem sya and he thinks I can help him by giving my advice.

I was very hesitant.

He said he value my opinion.

I said he can just tell me whatever his problems were and I’ll just give my advice.

But he was persistent. And he said he sees nothing wrong to meet him and sabi pa nya…

“Don’t you think it’s about time?”

How long have I known this guy? Four months.

I was not prepared for a meet-up. Pano kung mataranta ako pag kaharap ko na s’ya? Paano kung wala akong masabi? Paano kung mag-mukha akong tanga?

He never gave me an option.

“I’ll see you in Figaro at the Podium next Friday. 8pm.”

Punta ba ‘ko or should I just stood him up? But why am I acting like this? I realized I am being pathetic. This guy is being friendly and is so nice to me and why would I let my feelings screw it up?

I was at the Podium 7:30. Di masyadong excited. Nag-ubos oras na lang ako browsing at Gourdo’s.

At 7:45 he sent another message.

“I’m at the corner table, al fresco area.”

He never even bothered to describe what he was wearing. How presumptuous he is naman to think na I will immediately recognize him.

I went down anyway. I was walking towards the coffee shop and there he is.

Tama pala s’ya. How can I not recognize him? With a smile so wide and his rugged handsome look.. he is just… perfect.

He offered his hand and I shook it.

He was firm with his handshake and then he taps my shoulder with the other hand.

“Hello! Finally.”

I just smiled back and responded with a nod.

“Let me take your order first, I will get myself a Macchiato. What can I offer you?”

I was about to get my wallet and he said…

“No. This is my treat. Don’t you dare. Hehehe!”

Me: “I’ll just have a cup of cappuccino.”

Robin: “Is that all? Anything to eat?”

Me: “Nah. I’m ok, I’m still full.”

I was lying. I haven’t eaten breakfast nor lunch because I was dying in anticipation. I can feel nangangatog na ang tuhod ko sa gutom. Stupid me. Dapat kumain muna ako before meeting him.

I followed him with my eyes. He caught me looking and he smiled and waved back.

I know I will end up doing something stupid, which will eventually mess up this date… I meant meet-up.

He returned with our coffees in hand.

Robin: “Here’s your cappuccino.”

Me: “Oh… thanks ha.”

Robin: “Nah… I owe you more than that.”

Huh?

Me: “So, what is this problem of yours na you want to confide with me?”

Robin: “Ah… that one. I need your honest opinion kasi.”

Me: “What about?”

At ngumiti sya. His eyes smiled as well. He was obviously feigning a sad face.

My hand starts trembling. I think I was about to spill my coffee.

Robin: “Nothing.”

Me: “Huh? Ano nga?”

Robin: “Wala nga. I just made it up. I know naman na you will not waste your time meeting me up. Para naman kasing wala kang plan to see me. Kaya I made some lame excuse na lang para magkita tayo. Hehehe!”

Me: “You’re just kidding me right?”

Robin: “Oh no… wala talaga. Sensya na. Hehehe!”

I don’t know what took over me. Nasabi ko na lang…

Me: “A-hole.”

Robin: “What?”

Me: “Wala. Hehehe!”

Robin: “I heard you kaya. Sorry na nga po.”

Me: “Ok, now you really owe me more than just a cup of coffee.”

Robin: “Hahaha! Look at you. Now you’re loosening up.”

Am I that obvious na sobrang tense ako sa harap nya?

Robin and I just clicked at that moment. He did most of the talking though. He told me details about his life. S’ya daw ang panganay. Tatlo silang magkakapatid. He even shared some personal details. That time I felt I know him ng matagal na matagal na.

Robin: “So, it’s way past your bedtime na.”

11:00 PM? Friday night?

Me: “Hahaha! Baka ikaw.”

Robin: “Kung ako lang, I’d rather spend more time with you.”

Me: “Bakit naman?”

Robin: “Kasi I feel so comfortable with you. I feel like I can trust you with my life.”

Me: “Wow, ang lalim non ha.”

Robin: “Yeah. Bakit, ikaw, you don’t trust me ba?”

Me: “Of course I do. Sasama ba ako sa ‘yo kung hindi? Hehehe!”

Robin: “Seriously?”

Me: “Seriously!”

Robin: “You wanna go home na?”

Me: “Ok lang ako. Wala naman akong gagawin eh.”

Robin: “Gusto mo sumama sa ‘kin?”

Me: “Saan naman?”

Robin: “Sa Antipolo.”

Me: “Hahaha! Ang layo non ha. Anong meron sa Antipolo?”

Robin: “Basta.”

Sinundan ko sya hanggang parking. Isip ko, may kotse. Rich kid nga. Pero wala pala. Better than what I expected. Naka-motorcycle sya.

Robin: “I-suot mo ‘tong isang helmet, then kapit ka sa ‘kin.”

Hmmm… he came prepared with two helmets.

Me: “Marunong ka ba talaga? ‘Wag mong iba-bangga ha. Ibaba mo muna ako before mo ibangga.”

Robin: “Hahaha! Nakakarami ka na sa ‘kin ha. Wait ka lang pag ako ang dumiskarte.”

I don’t know if he was trying to impress me pero sobrang bilis nya magpatakbo. We were overtaking cars, trucks and pati na yung mga jeepneys. I was practically hugging him from behind. Though I fear na baka mabangga kami, I was just so happy to be this close to him.

Until he slowed down when we reached this place called Valley Golf. He parked his motorcycle and we went up to the hillside. Tapos naupo kami.

Robin: “Nalula ka no? Hehehe!”

Me: “Gago ka kasi. Ang bilis mo magpatakbo.”

Robin: “Hahaha! Sinasadya ko ‘yon.”

Me: “Bakit? Nagpapakamatay ka?”

Robin: “Nope. Para yumakap ka…”

Tama ba ang nadinig ko? Nahiya akong tanungin sya ulit.

Robin: “Alam mo, favorite spot ko ‘to.”

Sobrang ganda ng view sa kinauupuan namin. Parang dagat ng ilaw na nagmumula sa mga buildings at bahay ang nasa ibaba. Sa taas naman ay maliwanag din ang mga bituin.

Me: “Oo nga, ang ganda. Pano mo naman na-discover ‘to?’

Robin: “Wala lang. Nag-rebelde kasi ako dati sa amin. Sumakay lang ako ng motor ko at nag-drive. Walang direksyon. Dito ako napadpad. Kaya everytime na kailangan ko mag-isa, dito ako pumupunta.”

Me: “Dapat pala hindi mo ‘ko sinama. Istorbo ako. Hehehe!”

Robin: “Gusto talaga kita isama dito. Gusto ko makita mo ‘to na kasama mo ako.”

Me: “Uy… senti ka na ah. Ok ka lang ba?”

Robin: “Oo naman. Happy ako. Sobrang happy.”

Me: “Ah buti naman. At least tanggalin ko na yung worry ko na tatalon ka dyan sa bangin at ako ang maiiwang witness. Hehehe!”

Robin: “Hindi ko gagawin ‘yon. Ikaw, happy ka ba?”

Me: “Oo naman.”

Robin: “Happy ka ba na kasama mo ako?”

Me: “Oo naman.”

Robin: “Pwede ba akong humiling?”

Me: “Ano ‘yon.”

Tumayo sya. Tapos, umupo sa harap ko at kinuha ang kamay ko.

Robin: “Pwede ba, akin ka na lang?”

Hindi ko alam kung paano ko sasagutin ang tanong nya. Parang hindi ako makahinga. I was practically gasping for air. Para akong maiiyak.

Me: “Bakit ako?”

Robin: “Bakit naman hindi ikaw?”

Me: “Robin, ngayon lang tayo nagkita. Ngayon lang tayo nagka-usap ng ganito. Hindi tayo magkakilala talaga.”

Robin: “Hindi naman biglaan ‘to. Nararamdaman ko na ‘to ilang buwan na. I’m in love na with you. I look forward to each time na magti-text tayo, magcha-chat. Because I know then na you think of me. And I can also feel na you care for me.”

And that is exactly how I feel for him. Pinigil ko talaga ma-iyak. Niyakap ko lang sya ng mahigpit. Sobrang higpit. Parang ayaw ko na syang pakawalan.

Robin: “Ibig sabihin ba nyan… ‘tayo na’?”

Me: “Yes…”

And we shared our first kiss.

Nothing can top that moment in my life. If I can freeze the moment and hold everything in standstill, I will do it in a heartbeat.

Simula ‘yon ng walang katumbas na araw-araw na ligaya. Robin made me feel na he truly loves me. He was very affectionate.

I vividly remember nung minsang nanood kami ng movie sa Glorietta. Paglabas namin ng theater, hinawakan nya ang kamay ko. I was surprised. Hindi ako sanay sa PDA. Pero hindi nya binitawan ang kamay ko. Everybody is looking at us. Pero he never let go.

“I am proud to be your boyfriend.” Sabi nya sabay ngiti.

Nawala ang takot ko. I was ready to announce to the world na I’m in love and that I am in love with this guy. I don’t care anymore kung makasalubong namin ang mga officemates ko or a former classmate or whoever.

And I thought that was it.

He kissed me when the taxi stopped in front of us. A short but very intimate kiss. We said our goodbyes. Pero nanatili syang nakatayo at kumakaway habang palayo ang taxi.

Our relationship strengthens as the days passed. We made plans. Major plans for the future. We even thought of getting married in Baguio – when the flowers are in full bloom. We thought of saving up and buy a piece of property in Antipolo and settle there for good. And more crazy ideas.

He treated me with extra-ordinary care. He spends more than I do pag lumalabas kami. Sya daw kasi ang lalaki. Hehehe!

Hanggang mag-paalam sya na mag-a-abroad sya. Ayoko sana. But I don’t want to prevent him from pursuing his dreams. He was supposed to established himself there and then I will follow. I am ready to give up everything just for him.

I dreaded the day when he left. Mag-isa akong naghatid sa kanya sa airport. We spent his last three days together. Kami lang.

We cried together on our last night.

I never let him know my fears. Na baka hindi mag-workout ang long-distance relationship namin. Na baka makalimutan nya ako. At kung ano-ano pa…

He made me promise na hihintayin ko sya.

Nangako ako.

Technology somehow alleviates the sadness. We regularly send e-mails and text messages to each other. Unti-unti nababawasan ang takot ko.

Until one day…

“I’m sorry, I did something terrible. You will hate me for this. For now, just try to forget me. I will be out of your life for good. I am so sorry.”

Sinubukan kong tawagan sya pero he was not answering my calls. I sent text messages to him asking for an explanation but I got none. I e-mailed him but he never responded. Not even once.

My relationship with Robin lasted for nine months.

I was devastated when it happened. How can our relationship fail? Alam kong ginawa ko ang lahat para ‘to mag work-out. The most tragic of all, I was left hanging – with no idea why it ended that way.

To say that I was mad is an understatement.

I was very furious.

I want blood.

I need an answer.

And the answer I was waiting for came in too late.

One year after. I have fully recovered.

“I hope this is still your number. I’m here for a vacation. I know you’re still mad at me but I need to see you.”

I know it’s from him. Though I already deleted his number.

“Who is this please?”

He responded. “It’s me, Robin.”

I really thought I have fully recovered. Mali pala ako. Parang kahapon lang naganap ang lahat. Ngayon heto na naman sya.

Me: “What for?”

Robin: “I owe you an explanation.”

Me: “And what made you think na I’m still interested to hear your side?”

Robin: “I beg you, please?”

How dare you get back into my life again after ginawa mo kong tanga? Gusto ko syang sumbatan. In fact gusto ko syang murahin. Gusto ko syang sapakin.

I texted him back.

“Figaro at the Podium, 8pm.”

Just like the first time, I don’t think I am prepared to meet him. But I decided to go. He was there ahead of me. He aged so much, I said to myself. And he looks very tired.

He motioned me to take the seat in front of him.

Robin: “Kamusta ka na? You're looking good. Pero teka… I’ll get us something to drink. You’ll have the usual, right?”

Alam pa rin nya.

Me: “Don’t bother. Sandali lang naman tayo. I have to meet some friends after this.”

Sumimangot sya. Ramdam ko na parang nagtampo sya.

Me: “Ok, let’s go down to business. Ano na pag-uusapan natin?”

Robin: “Aren’t you going to ask me any questions?”

Me: “I already did, one year ago. I sent you e-mails, text messages. I even called you. Pero sinagot mo ba?”

Robin: “I was hoping we could do this sa Valley Golf, remember?”

Me: “Nope. Di na pwede. The last time I went there, it’s covered na with fence. They’re constructing a condo yata.”

Robin: “Nagpupunta ka pa ‘ron?”

Me: “Yup, dati. Pag naiisip kita. Pag naghahanap ako ng sagot.”

Robin: “Im so sorry.”

Me: “You said sorry too many times. Now I want to know what happened. You never gave me the decency to know why you dumped me just like that.”

Hindi sya makatingin sa akin ng diretso.

Robin: “Nag-asawa kasi ako… marriage for convenience. I have no other choice.”

Me: “Of course you do. But you chose the easy way out.”

Robin: “Sorry na please. My conscience is killing me. I know I hurt you so much. That is why I’m here.”

Me: “Do you love her?”

Robin: “Pero hindi gaya ng pagmamahal ko sa ‘yo. I still feel the same way for you.”

Me: “Mahal ka nya?”

He nodded his head. And then he showed me a picture of her... and their baby.

That’s enough. I need not torture myself further.

Me: “You know how much I love you. You have no idea how much pain you’ve caused me. Sana sinabi mo sa ‘kin to nung time na naghahanap ako ng sagot. Sobrang sakit ng ginawa mo Robin...”

Robin: “I was too afraid to tell you then.”

Me: “The moment you chose to marry her, were done. You already have a family. Sila na ang buhay mo ngayon. Ako, sarili ko lang iisipin ko. I’ll get over this.”

Robin: “But…”

Me: “Tama na Robin…”

It was the last time I saw him. I told Robin that it should be the last time na mag-u-usap kami. I have forgiven him. But I know I can never forget him.

It was the best relationship so far and the most painful as well.

I am thankful though to have experienced the love Robin and I shared.


You Lost Me

Christina Aguillera

I am done, smoking gun
We've lost it all, the love is gone
She has won, now it's no fun
We've lost it all, the love is gone

And we had magic
And this is tragic
You couldn't keep your hands to yourself

I feel like our world's been infected
And somehow you left me neglected
We've found our lives been changed
Babe, you lost me

And we tried, oh how we cried
We lost ourselves, the love has died
And though we tried you can't deny
We're left as shells, we lost the fight

And we had magic
And this is tragic
You couldn't keep your hands to yourself

I feel like our world's been infected
And somehow you left me neglected
We've found our lives been changed
Babe, you lost me

Now I know you're sorry and we were sweet
But you chose lust when you deceived me
And you'll regret it, but it's too late
How can I ever trust you again?

I feel like our world's been infected
And somehow you left me neglected
We've found our lives been changed

Babe, you lost me

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57 comments:

john stanley said...

i wonder what i would do if i were in your place. baka me goodbye sex muna. choz! hahaha, cheer up, ms. chuniverse. =)

Eternal Wanderer... said...

Naiyak ako :(

john chen hui long said...

pinoys are so... ewan. deep inside we're all aga muhlachs doing a scene from a regal blockbuster. but i'm happy you're back, ms chu!

Anonymous said...

I was holding back my tears. Too raw.

Ayie said...

Kailangan ko talagang maiyak sa office? Grabe, ramdam na ramdam ko.

Salamat sa pag seshare ng kwento.

edwin said...

first part was okay and then somehow i started to question the reality of and truth, in the story.

seems like a forced emotion.

the story isn't real. gawa-gawa mo lang ito..

tama ba ako?

Anonymous said...

something that felt so right ended up so wrong.. does it always have to be that way? huhuhu.. salamat for sharing..

Ms. Chuniverse said...

Thanks everyone.

@Edwin... I may not be able to convey it in a factual manner but it is actually true. sensya na.

edwin said...

hello blog owner! i dunno.. it's just that i wasn't able to "feel" you in this particular entry. seems like a "different" person wrote this. i didn't get to fee your "heart" this time.

so sorry if i offended you - it's just that para kasing hindi "ikaw".

kaya i said na gawa-gawa mo lang kc very untypical na hindi kita "naramdaman" this time. tho andun yung depth ng emotion, pero hindi nya ako "nakalabit" kahit sandali lang..

i hope welcome pa rin ako dito a.. cheers!

Anonymous said...

pare. haha. kinilabutan din ako dyan sa You Lost Me. as in. kakaiba. tagos na tagos.

orally said...

sad. paksyet talaga ldr.

byuting sawi said...

huhuhuh

Ms. Chuniverse said...

@Edwin... that is my problem, this one kasi is so close to my heart, too personal, and i was being serious and emotional at the same time compared to my previous writings.

I was not the usual 'malande' or the 'happy gay guy' when i wrote this. I suck when it comes to my romantic life and I am not good in being serious, i guess. hehehe.

I admit, ma drama ako ng sinulat ko to yesterday morning.

Of course you are still welcome here. ;-)

@Orally.... alam mo 'teh, 'yan ang naging side effect sa akin ng experience na 'to. sobra. kahit pa sabihing probinsya lang ang pagitan, i don't go for LDR anymore. Even if i like the guy so much. Kung hindi rin lang kami able magkita 3x a week... uamaayaw na ko.

Anonymous said...

Nasan na si Robin ngayon? Nandito pa ba siya sa States?

Kung gusto mo ipakilala mo siya saken. Para kami na lang.

Alam ko hindi ko mapupunan ang lugar mo sa buhay nya. Pero sisikapin kong mahalin siya.

Sige na, kami na lang.

Halos pareho naman kami ng namesung.

Ruben

Ms. Chuniverse said...

@Ruben.. gagah ka. hihihi!

Anonymous said...

thanks for sharing...

nakakalungkot na may kapareho din pala ako ng nararanasan...

buti ikaw nagbalik na xa para mag explain...

sa akin di pa eh...

ang hirap ng pakiramdam ng naka hang...

mas mabuti pa sa sabhn sau agad agad kung what went wrong...

para mas madaling maitndihan kung baket....

inde yung paabutin pa ng matagal na panahan...

taena na pag ibig talaga...

hayz...

thanks again for sharing this...

i cried from the start till the end...

i remembered this person of mine that i loved dearly...

lage na ako magbabasa ng blog mo ehehhehe...

Anonymous said...

winner entry. thanks for sharing.

enrique, you lost me.

Ewan said...

teh chuni your love story is toooo good to be true...

i can feel your emotions simula nung hindi pa kayo nagkikita hanggang sa maghiwalay na kayo...

been to this kind of situations many times pero di ko parin maperfect ang art of moving on...

hell yeah i forgave all of them... but i will not forget them

stay happy... love as if you've never been hurt


its too good to be true...

chichirya said...

Ang galing ng story. Predictable yet close to heart. :D

Marcus:) said...

Hi!
Marcus here,
I would have to admit it, at first I did not feel your presence when I was reading it. Seems like it was impeccably written by someone who does not use the words you're using in your other posts.
To be blunt, I cried and to tell you frankly, the last time I cried that hard was when I was reading the orosa nakpil book (yung revelation part dun). Alam mo, I can feel the raw emotion with this entry. I really like this. Albeit of not experiencing that same situation, I can feel the hurt it brought you. Sana you are totally healed na. Just be happy. :)..Someone must be on his way to save you from that agony you've hanged on.
Just don't lose hope and remember this saying ""Do not think that love, in order to be genuine, has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired".....Sana it helps..

Smile,
http://marcusdivina.blogspot.com
http://marcusdoesblog.wordpress.com

Ms. Chuniverse said...

Hello Marcus, thanks for dropping by.

I am humbled and flattered at the same time naman with your comments. I really am not the serious type. But writing my and Robin's story requires a completely different approach from my usual entries. Perhaps maybe because of the unfortunate ending of our relationship.

Though him and I shared a lot of good and happy memories together, i cannot help but get emotional everytime na i would look at our past.
Siguro because of the disappointments or because of the betrayal or all of these.

Pero I have moved on na. Matagal na 'yon. Marami na ring dumating at umalis sa buhay ko. Para lang kasing sinadya yung song sa nangyari sa 'min. I can totally relate to the lyrics.

Thanks for the advise. ;-)

charley said...

i have just endured a break up. it has been 3 months, 8 days, 19 hours... i still count the last time i saw him. the last time a saw a tear in his eyes. i loved him with all my heart and we were torn apart not by differences but by choice. it still is very hard, and i have to be honest i do read your blog for entertainment. i grew fond of your writing, how candid you are with your words and even if you wanted to put distance for this article, i still felt your heart in it.

you see, 'akin ka na lang...' was my line to my boyfriend when he said yes to me. although how i proposed to him was remotely romantic as how robin proposed to you, our relationship was also filled with love. though i was 14 years younger than my boyfriend i was the 'man' in the relationship... days and months have passed but with all the shit happening to me, he abandoned me. i was hoping for answers, i was hoping for a closure but it never came... what nags me now is the question: 'did he love me because he needed me?'


it still is painful yes, but thanks to you am now moving ahead with moving on... this post made me realize, i have a life to keep on living and that i will be ok... i even forced myself back to blogging again just to reply to this post...and to make you feel that indeed you are appreciated...

Marcus:) said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Marcus:) said...

My shift ends pero wala akong nagawa sa work ko..Grabe I enjoyed your posts.. I think I need to know you more...You are, indeed, so mysterious. I was not able to finish my reports kasi I got hooked up on your posts...Grabe I was laughing my ass off alone. My cubicle-mate were looking at me whenever I am giggling alone..To be honest, there are always moral lessons in your posts. I can't believe it I started reading your site siguro 9 and then 6 na wala akong nagawa, anyway, me bukas pa naman eh...hehe...

Take Care!

Wish we can be friends..:)

Ms. Chuniverse said...

Hello Charley,

You are right. Closure is what we need. Questions should not be left unanswered. It’s grossly painful to found love and have lost it but to continuously wonder why it ended, to be totally clueless, just magnifies the pain a hundredfold.

There is indeed life after a failed relationship despite how painful, how tragic it is. We ended up scarred, broken and helpless but the experience should not deter us from falling and experiencing love all over again.

Some readers do think that my life is nothing but a candy coated adventure. This, I guess, was based from my previous postings. But just like any other gay guy, I also have serious issues in my life.

I do hope that you’ll be able to immediately bounce back from your painful past. And that someday, you’ll have that closure.

Thanks to you Charley.

Your comments are sincerely appreciated as well.

;-)

Ms. Chuniverse said...

@Marcus... i'm glad you enjoyed reading my entries. ;-) and yes, we can be friends.

have a great weekend. :D

Marcus:) said...

Thanks...Thanks...

Super hooked up na talaga ko..hehe
Anyway, thanks for accepting my post:)..I really appreciate it. Thanks din pala for replying on my posts huh! Expect for my replies...hehe..:)


I admire you...

Anonymous said...

its a reaaly nice post... actually, i have also partner same story with you and were planning to work abroad... but i think my latest company needs me to work for them for long time... thats why i decided na mauna sya mag work abroad... he agrees me but when i saw your post, natakot ako mangyari sken n iwan nya ako... =( hay...

jonathan said...

I was browsing blogs then I ended reading this post. Beautifully written because it came from the heart. I was filled with sadness but later felt happy because you were able to move on. I'll read more of your entries, have a great day!

Ms. Chuniverse said...

@Jonathan, salamat sa pag-bisita. ;-)

Randy said...

I cried river after reading your love story... Somehow I can relate with your story.... an almost perfect relationship turns to be the painful one...sad... I can feel your pain... haaayzzz....

Ms. Chuniverse said...

@Randy... Thanks. Though I was able to recover from the pain, the scars remained. Now, i can look back and just cherish the happy moments him and I shared.

Pinoy AdvenTurista said...

as they say, "we never recover from the pain, we just get used to it..." i can relate much...

Anonymous said...

nkaka-adik ang blog mo! *wink*

Anonymous said...

I cried reading this post! it's sad that gay relationships despite the love had to end but am happy for you cuz uve experienced that love..no amount of pain could stop me from falling in love again and again..

BTW..ur blog is addictive:-)

bingO

kevin said...

THANK YOU. Just when I thought that something like this is not possible to happen. But LOVE happens. Gives me hope. Correct me if I'm wrong, If given the chance to re-do it all over again, you would. Even though it has caused you so much pain, you'd give everything just to feel the time you have with Robin.

Ms. Chuniverse said...

@Pinoy Adventurista... you are sooo right.


@Anonymous... thanks =)


@BingO... relieving the memories is both happy and difficult at the same time. and thank you.


@Kevin... yes i would. i =)

asdix said...

that entry almost made me cry..
in a months time din, babalik ako ng Pinas leaving my partner here for quite a while and already im starting to feel the tension.
whew!
havey nito! eheh

Anonymous said...

I have been a follower of your blogs since the first time I found it. I can't help shedding my tears while reading this. I felt sad but then I'm glad you have moved on.

Desperate Houseboy said...

Ms. CHu, oo delayed na ang comment. i am backreading kasi yung blog mo. nakanangpupu, naiyak ako dito. ang sagwa tignan. your a hell of a strong woman este man, bsta bahala ka na. gusto ko umiyak hanggang bukas.

apektado ako. walang makikialam, lumabas ang matapang...

Ms. Chuniverse said...

@Asdix... as long as he's there for you. as long as wala kayong nasasaktang iba, go for gold. =)


@Anonymous... Salamat. =)


@Houseboy.... Thanks ditse. =)

john evangelista jr said...

OMG, I cried ... ganda teh ...

Jonathan said...

I hope I could be one of your friends. I enjoy reading your blog. Nakakatawa ang mga stories mo but at the same time nakakaiyak yung mga seryoso mong kwento. I hope you find the right one. Cheers! -Jonathan

JohnM said...

Ayeee! Kinilig ako, fcuk. hahaha

Hatcher234 said...

One of the best posts you have here Ms. Chuni.. I became your avid reader just yesterday.. I read your entries from the first day down to this entry.. More entries to read and their all quite impressive.. =)

I'm now a fan. =)

Anonymous said...

I think miss chuni i'll be feeling the same thing... soon. I know that what we have is temporary. Sooner or later we'll end up that way. Sana kayanin ko.

kratos said...

Honestly naluha ako. Buti na lang prepared aketch with tissue paper. Past is past. At least now, you're a stronger and a lot wiser title holder. *cheers*

Lasherations said...

I hate love stories that end up like this. Shet.

DON said...

DONcelya678 says

this story remind me of my past relationship it is very painful to look back but somehow i manage to move on with my life

Anonymous said...

totoo yung kwento kasi yung mga locations talagang tunay, yung hill na yun sa valley golf wala na nga yun ngayon kasi may tinatayong condo pero gandang tambayan yung lugar na yun dati over looking ortigas

dreaminvader said...

sniff...how can i follow you? no link?

Anonymous said...

nyeta. ni-back read ko lahat ng posts mo, this is the 3rd day at di ko mapigilang di magcomment on this one. sobrang nakakatouch. =(

12:29AM na, may pasok pa 'ko ng 6AM. shet!

kakaadik ka ms. chuni. pag na-late ako mamaya kasalanan mo! haha!

paolo here..

chard castillo said...

Wow! After almost two years nabasa ko na naman yung "Akin ka na lang" na line..

Bittersweet..I said the same line to my ex when we decided to commit to each other..

That was the sweet part..the bitter part was he only told me he was committed to someone else when we were two months in our relationship..pero mahal ko and he promised to break up with the other guy.. and being the engot that I was I waited..for 9 months..

When the other guy learned about us,my ex was asked to choose..single ako so obviously I wasn't the one who was chosen..

No regrets, almost..it was very good while it lasted..and we were compatible on almost everything..and ang pinag-aawayan lang namin nun yung isang guy..just one topic but it was one topic that mattered the most..

Thanks for keeping this blog chuni..Your entries have both been either extremely funny or extremely sad..but altogether a wonderful, plesant read..

Anonymous said...

letch,, i cried so hard.
akala ko naka-move on na ako sa ex ko.
butupon reading this entry of yours.
super iyak ako...super.
sinabayan ko ba ang music while reding ..kaya doble ang effect...

always a fan here..

marc209

wandering emo said...

Natawa ako sa isa mong post tapos ngayon naiyak naman ako... May mga bagay talaga siguro sa mundo na kahit gaano naten sikaping maabot eh kapag hindi talaga saten eh di talaga mangyayare :(

Anonymous said...

Hi miss chuni. Nagbackread ako ng bongga. Wow. Napaka-bittersweet nitong story na ito. Actually, nagulat ako doon sa sinabi mo na you were willing to give up everything for him. I guess, it just goes to show na talagang you're out there for love. As your reader, i though to myself: wow, i can never be like that--ito siguro yung reason king bakit single pa rin ako. Always one foot on the ground.

Self-reflection aside, i admire you for courage and strength during the time na nawala siya. And, most of all, i really admire you for being yourself and for being, i assume, hopeful pa rin. :)

LoneliNomore said...

Hello. Nagbackread din ako ng very light. This story made me soooooooo kilig and devastated at the same time. End to end. Kaloka!

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